# Who's with me?



## tumblebuck (Feb 17, 2004)

Forwarded:

Please humor me. I've taken all I can, and now I must vent.

All I see on TV is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual,transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual...

It's time for us old fashioned types to stand up, scratch our butts, burp the beer gas, and yell "ENOUGH"!

I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the "Retrosexual movement".

The Code:
* A Retrosexual man, no matter how the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

* A Retrosexual "deals with it", be it a flat tire, a break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

* A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

* A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still drinking and smoking your cigars, I salute you. If you are still having sex, so much the better.

* A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need deodorant and shaving gear - that's it!!

* A Retrosexual does not dress like a homeboy with baggy pants that look like he's s**t himself, or with a gay chain from pocket to pocket. If wearing a hat, he wears it correctly - not on the side of his head.

* A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.

* A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title. (Or in the
cast.)

* A Retrosexual will not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a handbag carrying little (insert your own expletive here), and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

* A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak BBQ accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite hunting dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

* A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

* A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.

* A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. This does not include cosmetic surgery.

* A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can or be rightfully ridiculed as a wuss.

* A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear; guns are TOOLS which are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".

* Crying. There are very few reasons that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), or loss of a major body part.

* When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, .... heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you rude b**t**d" look on his face.

* A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, motorcycle racing, cigar smoking, auto maintenance, golf, and drinking beer with the guys.

* A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

* A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he wanted it to land.

* A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.

* A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough.

* A Retrosexual man doesn't look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things, we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!


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## buckseye (Dec 8, 2003)

I resemble all these remarks...


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## Maverick (Mar 4, 2002)

:rollin: :rollin: 
Great Stuff!!


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## MossyMO (Feb 12, 2004)

I'm all about and all for RetroMan.................


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## SmellCat (Jul 28, 2004)

Thank You! It's about time! Count me in


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## Militant_Tiger (Feb 23, 2004)

Here here with all but one



> A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear; guns are TOOLS which are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".


That just doesn't sit well with me. If I was hunting and saw someone fire off a shot purposely in my direction I would fire back. I would not shoot to miss. Guns are not toys, as stated they are tools.


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## Draker16 (Nov 23, 2004)

:rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :jammin: thats some good stuff count me in


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## 870 XPRS (Mar 12, 2003)

Militant_Tiger said:


> Here here with all but one
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Alright, Who $hit in MT's coffee this afternoon???


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## DuckBuster (Mar 18, 2003)

I'M ALL IN!!!! :beer:

By the way, MT, if you're out hunting and someone shoots @ you, YOU probably needed "a little wakin' up!". The proper thing to do would be to "DEAL WITH IT!!" :wink:


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## Militant_Tiger (Feb 23, 2004)

You guys must have a different set of rules over there, we don't mess around here.


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## huntin1 (Nov 14, 2003)

I'm in, retro all the way!!

:beer:

:sniper:

huntin1


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## faithsdave (Jan 8, 2004)

Retro for Pres. Where do I join??????????  :beer:


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## 4CurlRedleg (Aug 31, 2003)

Retro *******!! dd: dd: Perfect fit!! 8)

Mt, lighten up dude. Life is not all about seriousness and political correctness!! Some folk are waaaayyy too stiff!!! :stirpot:


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

Back to a sane world. Count me in. It sure would be good to see men act like men again. Society has been trying to feminize the American male since the 1970's. They have done a good job too.


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## Militant_Tiger (Feb 23, 2004)

I'm not usually serious and I'm certainly not often politically correct. I simply don't want to give anyone any stupid ideas like firing off a shot in jest over someones head. I am fine with most jokes, but not when it comes to firearms.


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

OK MT were all imporessed, can we move on now?


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## Draker16 (Nov 23, 2004)

MT get over it and get a sense of humor..... its a joke obviously people around here know that, maybe things are different in the great state of Michigan uke: .


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## Alaskan Brown Bear Killer (Feb 22, 2005)

I'm in; but I can't tie a neck tie to save my butt so I use clip-ons when I must wear a tie. 24 yrs in the USAF and use clip-ons.... So other than that, I'm with ya!


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## jbsound (Dec 21, 2004)

tumblebuck said:


> Forwarded:
> 
> * A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.
> 
> Hey...as a 2nd Lt I resent this one. J/K. Besides I won't be a 2nd Lt that much longer (hopefully).


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## diver_sniper (Sep 6, 2004)

im with ya mt, very funny post but dont be shootin in my direction cuz you think im sleepin, im not, and i'll let you know about it if you try.


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## Habitat Hugger (Jan 19, 2005)

Most of it real funny (it's great!) and pertinent to todays political correctness. I'm with MT and have reservations about a couple of other things, but sure agree it's time to bring back some old values and time people started to "deal with it!"


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## Habitat Hugger (Jan 19, 2005)

Oh hell, maybe I'm wwaaay tooo stiff too, like someone said. It really was great! 
Hey Maverick, what is that little picture (whatever they call it) under your name on this website? I'm not very computer literate and can't make it bigger to see it better and can't figure out how to pm you. Looks interesting. Thanks


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## indsport (Aug 29, 2003)

This post started off with the comment "All I see on TV ". Well, it would not be on TV if it did not have sufficient viewership so evidently, there must be more non retrosexuals in the general public watching those programs than retrosexsuals. If hunting and fishing shows were as popular, they would be on prime time on major networks. 
As to the sentiments in the post, I agree with most, but rather than call it retrosexual, it looks more to me like civility, gallantry, honor and common sense, many of the items sadly lacking in today's society. 
As to the supposed manliness decline after marraige, I doubt it. My spouse lets me go out with the boys, lets me have several bad habits and hobbies, and we agree that we both "Deal with it" as the previous posters have noted. BTW, she also hunts, fishes, cleans her own game and fish, etc. I made sure my choice of spouse would allow all those things that are posted in the original post. (If you did not select that type of spouse, or are contemplating a spouse, deal with it. You have to live with your mistakes). 
I agree with MT on one item; yes, I have been shot at, both willfully and by mistake, but shoot back at the willful shooters, not the mistakes. I do not support the concept of shooting back at some knucklehead during hunting season. The mistaken shooter gets one chance to cease and desist but if they continue, they can assume they will get return fire.


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## Habitat Hugger (Jan 19, 2005)

Indsport, sounds like you have the second best wife in the world. I have the best!


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## STINGER (Apr 2, 2005)

that's some quality humor there ...............


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## wiscokid (Dec 22, 2003)

Very GOOD; :beer:


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