# Some Viking Jokes



## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

Here are some viking jokes I had sent to me.

The Vikings and the Packers had an ice fishing tournament. The first day the Packers caught 100 fish and the Vikings didn't catch any. The second day the Packers caught 200 fish and the Vikings didn't catch any. The third day the Vikings were getting worried so they dressed Randy Moss up like a Packer and sent him with the Packs to see why they were catching so many fish and the Vikings couldn't catch any. That day the Packs caught 300 fish and the Vikings caught none. They said what's the deal Randy, are they cheating or what's going on? Randy said you bet they are, they are drilling holes in the ice!


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## 870 XPRS (Mar 12, 2003)

I heard a really funny football joke just the other day. Think about what it could be and then scroll down.










BWAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA, that's a good one, it gets me everytime. I still laugh when I hear that one.


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

A Packer fan, a Viking fan, and Pamela Anderson are sitting together in a train traveling through Switzerland when the train enters a tunnel and the car goes completely dark. There's a kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, Pamela Anderson and the Packer fan are sitting as if nothing had happened, and the Viking fan is holding his slapped face. The Viking fan is thinking, "That Packer fan must have kissed Pamela Anderson and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead." Pamela Anderson is thinking, "That Viking fan must have tried to kiss me, accidentally kissed the Packer, and got slapped for it." And the Packer fan is thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap that Vikings fan again."


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

One day three football fans got into heaven, a Bucks fan, a Vikings fan and a Packer fan (don't ask how the Viking fan got in). When you get into heaven there are 2 rules. First is respect God, second is don't step on the pink clouds. So one day the Packers fan is walking along and sees the Bucks fan with a super ugly girl, he asks what happened and the Bucks fan replies, "I stepped on a pink cloud and now I am stuck with her, and she is ugly even in Tampa bay standards". Wow, the Green Bay fan thinks, I must be very careful not to step on one of the pink clouds! Later that day he sees the Minnesota fan with a girl, and asks him what happened and before the Minnesota fan can reply the girl blurts out "I stepped on a pink cloud.''


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

Here's a Pro-Viking quote that I did think was funny!

"I Think, Therefore I am not a packer fan"


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

Her Side of the Story:

He was in an odd mood Sunday night. We planned to meet at a bar for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what he hell that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him, but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else.

His Side of the Story:

The Vikings lost. Got laid though. :beer:


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "what is your IQ?" to which the man answers "241." "That is wonderful!" says Albert. We will talk out the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!" Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "what is your IQ?" to which the lady answers "144." "That is great!" responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!" Albert goes to Brett Favre and asks, "what is your IQ?" to which Brett answers, "4." Albert responds,"How 'bout them Packers?"


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## 870 XPRS (Mar 12, 2003)

Remmi_&_I said:


> Here's a Pro-Viking quote that I did think was funny!
> 
> "I Think, Therefore I am not a packer fan"


Words to live by Remmi!!!! oke:


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

[siteimg]538[/siteimg]


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

The Drive

A Viking fan used to amuse himself by scaring every Green Bay Packer fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their obnoxious green and yellow colors. He would swerve his purple and gold van as if to hit them and, at the last instant, he would swerve back onto the road.

One day, as the van driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to say Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road," replied the priest.

"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"

The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. Suddenly the driver saw a Packer fan walking down the road and
instinctively swerved as if to hit him but, just in
time, he swerved back. Thinking he'd narrowly missing the fellow, he still heard a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise came from he
glanced in his mirrors and he didn't see anything.
Remembering his passenger, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that Green Bay Packer fan."

"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got the bastard
with the door!"


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## The Norseman (Jan 8, 2005)

:beer:


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## Goldy's Pal (Jan 6, 2004)

When I become a Puker fan I'll take the time to enjoy the jokes. When will that be? *NEVER!!!* uke:


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## oklahomawatrfwlr (Jan 31, 2005)

The only thing that matters is that the vikings killed green bay in the playoffs. :lol:


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## seagulhunter4life (Oct 7, 2004)

How do you keep the Green Bay Packers out of your front yard?........

....WITH A GOAL POAST....


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## wiscan22 (Apr 4, 2004)

Goldy's Pal said:


> When I become a Puker fan I'll take the time to enjoy the jokes. When will that be? *NEVER!!!* uke:


Brett Favre, Donovan McNabb and Randy Moss were over in Iraq and yep you guessed it they got captured by insurgents.

Well as fate may have it they were all given the ultimate penalty and lined up against the wall.

Favre being the first to go was asked if he had any last words and after not replying the commander started with "Ready... Aim" and at that very second Favre shouted out SANDSTORM!!!!! The entire squad hit the ground and Favre quickly hopped over the wall to freedom.

McNabb being next in line saw what Favre did. Upon the same request of having any last words and a quick denial the commander started again...
Ready, Aim and at that very moment McNabb shouts out HURRICANE!!!!! Once again the entire squad hit the dirt and McNabb quickly hopped over the wall to freedom.

Didn't take ole' Randy too long to figure out what was going on and he had a plan all worked out. Once again the commander asked for any last words and once again a denial. The commander started again... "Ready, Aim and Randy shouts out as loud as he could... "FIRE".

Cmon Goldy there only jokes! :lol: :beer:


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## taddy1340 (Dec 10, 2004)

Good one Wiscan22 :beer:


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## Goldy's Pal (Jan 6, 2004)

Ok Ok here's one here's one.....

*31-17*Na na na na,,, na na na na,,, hey hey hey,,, goodbye.
:lol:


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

Good one wiscan! Sorry Goldy, anyway you slice it the pack were 2-1 against the vikes this season and if you don't make it to the superbowl it doesn't matter! :beer:


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## KEN W (Feb 22, 2002)

THREE DUMB CHEESERS

LOSING MY FOOTBALL BARNSTORMING RELIGION

A Jewish Giants Fan, a Hindu 49ers Fan and a Religious St. Lombardi & Cheese Glorious Cheese Packer Fan were driving in the country one autumn night when their car broke down. They walked to a nearby farm house and asked if they could spend the night. The farmer told them yes, but he only had two extra beds.

"I can't accomodate y'all in the house, but I did just clean up my barn earlier this fine day and I have a clean barn full of fresh straw! One of you all is most certainly welcome to spend night out there." The Jewish Giant fan jumped at the opportunity, bragging,

"Yo, I am New York tough, and in my younger days, I spent several years on a kibbutz in Israel! Sleeping in a barn won't bother my big city attitude! Besides, the Giants have won 2 Super Bowls and they did it the hard way by winning ugly!" Out to the barn went the Jewish man with is confidence and conviction while everybody else went to bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and there stood the Jewish man.

"I can't sleep in the barn afterall because there is big pig out there and my Jewish religion forbids it!". Immediately, the Hindu 49er fan stepped up boasting,

"No problem, I can go out to the barn, NOOOOOOH problem! I grew up in Bombay an even a tougher city than New York, and I want let no dumb Pig kick me out of anything. Besides, the 49er's won 5 Super Bowls and won them all with the beauty of the West Coast Offense! Out to the barn went the Hindu 49er and everybody else went to bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and there stood the Hindu 49er fan with a disgruntled look on his face, stating,

"I don't know what I was thinking! I can't sleep in the barn because there is a cow out there, and as you know my religion worhsips cows even more than a 49'ers fan worships Joe Montana." The St. Lombardi & Cheese Glorious Cheese Packer Fan started laughing profusely at the 2 other travellers,

"You 2 dorks and all your West Coast- East Coast smack packin Super Bowl talk don't know nothing about Super Bowls or sleeping in a barn! Leave it to a Packer fan to handle the outdoors and the elements of the great outdoors. Hell, our NFL Packers have won 3 Super Bowls and many NFL titles and we play all our homegames in a big old barn called Lambeau! This will be a piece of cake for beer swilling, cheese eating expert like myself!" Out to the barn went the Packer Fan and everybody else went to bed.

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and there stood the pig and the cow.


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## djleye (Nov 14, 2002)

R & I, Would you take the playoff win and trade it for the divisional title??????? I bet you would. :lol: :lol: 8)


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## KEN W (Feb 22, 2002)

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cheesehead.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they are
Cheeseheads too.

No one really knowing what a Cheesehead was, but wanting
to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy
fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen
who has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has
decided to be different.

"Because I'm not a Cheesehead."

"Then", asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"Why, I'm a proud Vikings Fan," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Kristen why she is a rebel.

"Well, my mom and dad are Vikings Fans, so I'm a Vikings Fan too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if
your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Cheesehead


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## Goldy's Pal (Jan 6, 2004)

:rollin: Ha! Good one Ken. Better post it twice so the cheeseheads can read it over again to understand it. :idiot: :lol:


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

:eyeroll: You viking fans are all the same........... uke: :wink:


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## 4CurlRedleg (Aug 31, 2003)

Three plus decades of Loserville!!! dd:

Now there is something to stand on Queens fans!!! :beer:

What part of HOPELESS don't you get!!! :jammin: :jammin: :jammin:


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## KEN W (Feb 22, 2002)

Can't you Puker fans take a little tit for tat????? :jammin:

I could post up a lot more if you want. :beer:


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## 4CurlRedleg (Aug 31, 2003)

Moss gets huge endorsement!!! 

http://www.nodakoutdoors.com/forums/alb ... pic_id=540


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## Longshot (Feb 9, 2004)

Q: What's the difference between Randy Moss and a dollar bill?

A: You can still get 4 quarters out of a dollar.

Q: What do the Vikings and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They can both make 60,000 people jump up and yell Jesus Christ!

A guy is visiting the zoo when he sees a lion licking its rear. The guys says to the zoo keeper, that must be the most docile animal here. No says the zoo keeper, he's the meanest one around. He had just eaten a Vikings fan and was trying to get the taste out of his mouth.


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## KEN W (Feb 22, 2002)

The boy came running home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy, " he yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" 
"Very good," said his mother.

"Is it because I'm a Packer fan, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're a Packer fan."

The next day the boy came running home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," he yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"

"Very good," said his mother.

"Is it because I'm a Packer fan, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're a Packer fan."

The next day the boy came running home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, none of the other boys had this, but I did!" And he dropped his pants to expose his pubic hair.

"Very good," said his embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm a Packer fan, mommy?"

"No sweetheart, it's because you're 25."


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## KEN W (Feb 22, 2002)

A guy arrived at a car dealership to pick up his 2003 Mercedes. Upon starting it for the first time, he reached over and turned on the radio. Nothing happened. Furious, he looked at the salesman and said, "When I buy a $50,000 car, I expect the radio to work." The salesman explained that the radio was voice-controlled. All he had to do was say what he wanted to hear and the radio would respond with the correct music. "Wow! Pretty neat stuff." he said. He thanked the salesman and drove off. When he hit the interstate, he decided that he wanted to hear some tunes. "Country music." he said, and Willie Nelson started singing. "Rock and Roll", he exclaimed. Led Zeppelin blasted through the speakers. "Easy listening", he continued. It sounded like he was in an elevator. As he listened to the smooth sounds, a beat up old truck nearly ran him off the road, then pulled away weaving and lurching all over the centerline. "Stupid, ******* drunks!" he screamed. "The Packer Fight Song" began playing.


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## 4CurlRedleg (Aug 31, 2003)

Longshot said:


> A guy is visiting the zoo when he sees a lion licking its rear. The guys says to the zoo keeper, that must be the most docile animal here. No says the zoo keeper, he's the meanest one around. He had just eaten a Vikings fan and was trying to get the taste out of his mouth.


I love it!! :lol:


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## 4CurlRedleg (Aug 31, 2003)

KEN W said:


> "Stupid, ******* drunks!"


Yeah, SO!! :wink:


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## wiscan22 (Apr 4, 2004)

KEN W said:


> "Stupid, ******* drunks!"


Hey Ken, Good one but far from the truth. It's a fact that Packer fans are right up there when it comes to friendlyness and welcoming people. The most that ever got arrested from a game was seven people this past season and the most that got fined was thirty four people.... none for violence. As a matter of fact the first time the Vikes got beat at Lambeau a letter was printed from a Minnesota fan that stated how well they were treated even though they were the opposition. They stated that they'd pick Packer fans anyday as a road trip team because of the way they conduct themselves. They also stated that they wish the next road trip they took the reception would be the same..... Philly, city of brotherly love.


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## wiscan22 (Apr 4, 2004)

Goldy's Pal said:


> :rollin: Ha! Good one Ken. Better post it twice so the cheeseheads can read it over again to understand it. :idiot: :lol:


Hey Goldy, We'll post it right next to the 3 Superbowl trophies, 9 World Champ trophies (prior to it being called the Superbowl), who knows how many divisional championship trophies and we'll read it over and over again laughing our butts off!.

Purple and Yellow... the color of one's skin after holding their throats too tightly. Further defined as CHOKING! Coincidentally, this is also the Vikings team colors!:lol: :wink:


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

wiscan22 said:


> Purple and Yellow... the color of one's skin after holding their throats too tightly. Further defined as CHOKING! Coincidentally, this is also the Vikings team colors!:lol: :wink:


I like that one! Of course, we packer fan's witnessed a large choke this year in the playoffs to a far inferior team! :evil:


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## wiscan22 (Apr 4, 2004)

Remmi, Ya I guess you're right but it still feels good to be the NFC Central champs ain't it?
:beer: 
Ah, it looks so good.


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## mallardhunter (May 15, 2004)

O yea, help out alot :lol:


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## qwakwhaker883 (Jan 19, 2005)

Great jokes Remmi and Wiscan, now if i could only say the same for Ken :eyeroll:

Go Pack!


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## Remmi_&amp;_I (Dec 2, 2003)

Last night we were trying to make plans for a Twins series against the Yankees (first weekend of June). I called my uncle who lives in Minneapolis and he told me he has access to 4 Packer's season tickets next year!!!!!!!!! They guy wants $200/seat...........so once the schedule comes out we will be making plans for our second trip to Lambeau!!!!! :beer:


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