# RNC Convention Agenda



## MTPheas (Oct 8, 2003)

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE
CONVENTION SCHEDULE
9/11/04, New York, NY

06:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
06:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
06:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
06:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
06:46 PM Seminar #1 "Getting your kid a military deferment"
07:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bash for Bush
07:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
07:40 PM EPA Address #1: "Mercury, It's What's for Dinner"
08:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
08:10 PM Call EMT's to revive Rush Limbaugh
08:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos are After Your Children"
08:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
08:50 PM Seminar #2 "Corporations: The Government of the Future"
09:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
09:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bash for Bush
09:10 PM EPA Address #2 "Trees: The REAL Cause of Forest Fires"
09:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Pat Robertson
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: "Doublespeak Made Easy"
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstrates trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bash for Bush
10:50 PM Seminar #3 "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"
11:10 PM Hillary Clinton Piñata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: "Evolutionists--The Dangerous New Cult"
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Leader


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## headhunter (Oct 10, 2002)

Sounds like something I might like to attend! :beer:


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## headhunter (Oct 10, 2002)

Oh yeh, my wife's mother is pretty liberal. She works for the government to boot, so the more democrats in office, the more money she gets. (coincidence?) heh heh. Anyway, she sent us a "poilitcal" pin on button that says "ABB" it stands for "anybody but bush"......ha ha, isn't that cute. (I immediately "misplaced" it in the trash.)

It just goes to show like Bobm said once, The bush haters , will vote for ANYBODY but bush. Just to "show us".... That liberal button sums up their wisdom and indeed, says it all.

Anybody who would wear a button like that and believe in it, is fairly simple minded I would dare say.

He's a friend of them long haired, hippie type, pinko ****, I bet chya he's even got a commi flag, tacked up on the wall, inside of his garage...

Charlie Daniels :lol:


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

Mtpheas, I have to admit I laughed reading it :beer:
Thanks


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## Militant_Tiger (Feb 23, 2004)

"She works for the government to boot, so the more democrats in office, the more money she gets"

so you are telling me that based on the political party in office, and your political opinions you get payed more? sounds pretty fishy to me


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## buckseye (Dec 8, 2003)

Thats pretty funny, I like political jokes it keeps it in perspective


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## headhunter (Oct 10, 2002)

Tigger, Yes. She works for the g o v . The Human Resource Center to be exact. So, the Dem's are always increasing funds or "pork" for her programs, and for her salary. The Rep's are always cutting back on her programs and she can't stand it. :lol:


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