# Rooster a little levity for you while your new knee heals



## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

Subject: The Day I Died

So, this man came to the gates of Heaven. The angel at the gate,
remembering the new policy, asked the man, "Before I let you in, I
need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."

"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment
on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair; but her lover 
was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him.

My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire 
apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the 
balcony
and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his 
fingertips!
The nerve of that guy!

Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he
fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees 
and
bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even 
more.

In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get 
my
hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of 
was the
refrigerator.

I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the 
side.
It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment 
was
so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."

The angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have 
a
bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the angel announced, "Okay 
Sir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the angel's surprise, it 
was
Donald Trump. "Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear what
your day was like when you died."

Trump said, "No problem, but you're not going to believe this. I was
on the balcony of my 26th-floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I 
had
been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve 
my
stress.

I guess I got a little carried away, slipped and accidentally fell 
over the
side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the 
balcony
below mine.

But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment,
starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Of course, I fell. I hit 
some
trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall.

As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in
excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all 
things, off
the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me
instantly!"

The angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump tells his story.
"I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very 
well,"
the angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets 
Trump
enter.

A few seconds late, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The angel is 
almost
too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through 
the
angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr. President, please tell me what 
was it
like the day you died."

Clinton says, "Okay, picture this: I'm naked, inside a
refrigerator.................


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## Danimal (Sep 9, 2005)

:beer:


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

What happened to his knee?? Did he wear it out praying for me :lol:


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

I don't know what happened, I just heard he had it replaced. I think he wore it our praying for Hillary.


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## DJRooster (Nov 4, 2002)

Well, guess what? I am back. I have a new knee. About the only difference that I can notice is that I used to lean towards the left because my left knee was bad but now I lean towards the right because of my new knee. I have decided to become a right leaning person at least until I run out of my medications. Go, George W!


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

You come out of that with a good sense of humor anyway. I hope the knee functions as well. :beer:
Welcome back.


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

Dj I'm curious can you tell us exactly what they do when they do a knee replacement, undoubtedly I'll need one someday. DId you injure yours or did it just wear out chasing pheasants :beer:


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## swift (Jun 4, 2004)

BobM,
The quick and short version of a knee replacement. 
After anesthesia is obtained the surgeon makes an incision from the top of the tibia to the femoral head. He will flip the knee cap out from under the patellar ligament and then using a jig saw off about 1/3 of the knee cap. Then the surgeon will cut off the bottom of the femur using a jig with a bone saw and drill out two holes. He then will cement on the prosthetic femoral head. The surgeon will do the same to the top of the tibia. The prosthetic replacements are or were usually titanium or stainles steel The prosthetic knee cap is nylon. After 6-8 weeks of rehab you are better than before.


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## adokken (Jan 28, 2003)

Good luck on the knee, I was due for a replacment, but tried three shots of synvincs and it seems to be fine now.


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## adokken (Jan 28, 2003)

Sorry that injection is spelled Synvisc, You should try it Bob,last summer it hurt to walk a block, yesterday I walked 18 blocks without any problems. It takes three injections and it is successful 75 % of the time.


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

I will ask my doc about it, thanks


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## adokken (Jan 28, 2003)

You may have to try more then one doctor, Suffered all summer at home came to Bozeman for the winter and the Orthopedic here done this immediatly, said they always try this first on my type of knee problems, hope it lasts as long as I will. :beer:


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

adokken, I appreciate that information also.



> hope it lasts as long as I will.


I hope that's a long long time.


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## Norm70 (Aug 26, 2005)

Am i in the the sr citizens chat room???

LOL i am sorry i could resist feel free to shake your fist at me


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

Some more levity for Rooster :wink:

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The iBreast will cost $499 for mono or $599 for the stereo version.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not
listening to them.


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## adokken (Jan 28, 2003)

Norm i AM 82 So cannot speak for the rest of them but I think they are teen agers, :beer:


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## Norm70 (Aug 26, 2005)

If they are just teenagers i must be just a baby then because i am just 27


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

I was 27 once, the same year you were born :lol: . I'm also a youngster in this thread.

Time flies make the most of it.


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## DJRooster (Nov 4, 2002)

Norm, I'll kick your butt in a race using my walker!! What I really got was a hemi or a half of a knee because I had one good side and one bad side. It all started out in Montana, skiing on Lazy M at Red Lodge when I caught an edge and progressed to the point that it was time to pull the trigger so I could be ready for golf in a couple of months and be ready to go for next years roosters! Appreciate everyones concern.


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

Good to hear your doing well Rooster. I remember one year we had four guys on crutches where I worked. Skiing hmmm. That will get you often if your over 30. Don't pull a Sony Bono.


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## Norm70 (Aug 26, 2005)

I am not the fastest guy in the world you probably would. You'll make good use of that elevator :beer:


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## pheasantfanatic (Jan 20, 2007)

If Norm70 is just a baby, I am a newborn, 'cause I am only 17 :lol: 8)


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

DJ hows the recovery going? are you still in a walker. I'm siting here with ice on my knee but finally got the stiches out yesterday and go ahead to start light walking on it, and riding a stationary bike.

ANy kind of knee surgery will make you thank God for knee meds, mine hurt like heck for about a week and yours was alot more involved than mine. I know you've been hurting.

Hope its progressing as it should :beer:


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## DJRooster (Nov 4, 2002)

You can tell we are a bunch of old duffers because we talk about our physical ailments where as in the olden days we would talk about the women we were chasing and the weekends that usually started about Wed. night and ended the following Tuesday. May the healing god's be with us all! Just got 5 inches of snow last night so North Dakota, you got to love it!


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

snow damn...you put snow tires on your walker?

Really what do the have you doing for rehab??

Chasing or at least catching women is more painful than knee surgery, with knee surgery you know the pain will end :lol:


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## DJRooster (Nov 4, 2002)

Rehab? Nothing but a walk with the dogs each night. My little Ranger pickup that gets stuck on wet grass had a heck of a time getting up to cruising speed with the snow. I know I could still chase women but would not get approval from my beautiful wife, the one that makes me take the dogs hunting and doesn't care how much golf I play in the summer so you treat a woman like that with TLC. This snow and the wet will put some trash ground out in the cornfields next fall, so you know what that means!


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