# If General George Patton were president



## zogman (Mar 20, 2002)

If General George Patton were alive and President of the USA, this would probably be his Fireside Speech:

My fellow Americans; As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries, which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Italy, Bulgaria, Australia, Norway, Poland Holland, Denmark are some of the countries listed there. (Spain gets a half credit

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List #2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine?
Wrestling with an epidemic?
Call France, Germany, Russia, China, and the U.N.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to cut taxes and solve some local problems.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and the countries harboring and supporting you, and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, Germany, or maybe China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. You, boys. Work out a peace deal
now!! Note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia
or France for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.
I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades.

We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York. If the big wigs of the U. N. don't like it they can move to Switzerland with our blessing as we will resign!!

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List#2..Since we are going
to be seeing a lot more of each other, you socialist s o b's might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Don't coddle our deserters !

Mexico is also on List #2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. If you insist on sending us your huddled masses to avoid an internal revolution you better make sure that killers are not given virtual sanctuary when they flee back to Mexico. By the way California, New Mexico, Arizona, and Texas are not a part of Mexico and haven't been for over 100 years.

I have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around to prove the point if we must.. Guess where I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil to keep your people on your side of the border.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty--starting now.
It is time for America to focus on our own welfare and our own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying you're **** right !!

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.

It is time to cut taxes here because we will not be spending on other people's problems.
To the nations on List #1, a final thought.........Thanks guys. We owe you.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought...........Drop dead.
God bless America. Thank you and good night.

I am sorry guys I just learned this copy and paste thing :computer: and I can't help it I need a super long weekend at the Angle. :beer:


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## zogman (Mar 20, 2002)

Bump


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## headhunter (Oct 10, 2002)

Beautiful......sniffffle.......I am one copy/pasting sob right now.......I will send it to everyone............!!!


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