# Letterman's Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses



## KEN W (Feb 22, 2002)

10. Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm
9. Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page
8. Not enough Jim Beam
7. Trying to stop the spread of bird flu
6. I love to shoot people
5. Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter
4. I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me
3. Excuse? I hit him didn't I?
2. Until Democrats approve Medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly
1. Made bet with Gretzgy's wife


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

Funny stuff #2 is hillarious :beer:

Good to see you lightening up :wink:


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## Springer (Dec 21, 2004)

> 3. Excuse? I hit him didn't I?


 :sniper:


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## KEN W (Feb 22, 2002)

Yeah Bob....that's the one I like also.


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## greenheadfallon (Oct 19, 2005)

:toofunny:


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## Field Hunter (Mar 4, 2002)

How do you guys stay awake that late to see Letterman? :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

Hey Ken I thought you might like these :lol: enjoy

Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of 
Attorneys

370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or 
snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest 
attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) 
purposes.

370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is 
permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, 
however, is prohibited.

370.03 Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state 
health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.

370.04 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor 
vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an 
ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is 
accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead 
attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the 
vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car 
wash.

370.05 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest 
attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.

370.06 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", 
"AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of 
trapping attorneys.

370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 
yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except 
on Wednesday afternoon.

370.08 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 
yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, 
country clubs, hospitals or brothels.

370.09 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not 
necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess 
the same.

370.10 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise 
as a reporter, drugdealer, pimp, female legal clerk, 
sheep, accident victim, bookie, physician, 
chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of 
hunting attorneys.

370.11 Bag and Possession Limits per day:

Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2; 
Two-faced tortfeasors, 1; 
Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3; 
Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2; 
Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4. 
Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).
_________________
"Believe nothing because it is written, because it is said to be divine, or because someone else believes it. 
But believe only what you yourself judge to be true." 
~ the Buddha


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## RedBlooded (Feb 16, 2006)

Whats more dangerous than a hunting trip with Dick Cheney?

Taking a road trip with Teddy Kennedy!

Some of you may be a little too young to know what the jest of that one is. Just ask your mommy and daddy.
Redblooded :sniper:


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## KEN W (Feb 22, 2002)

Pretty good Bob....but if you can't use US currency as bait....you won't harvest many.Kind of like bear hunting w/o bait.


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