# A Hunter Who Survived Suicide



## TRMichels (Apr 2, 2008)

This will tell you why I am what I am.

God bless,

T.R.

*A Hunter Who Survived Suicide*

I was born to unwed parents, a sixteen-year-old girl, and an eighteen-year-old boy. I was then adopted by Dr. Roger Michels and his wife Pat, and grew up in Willmar, Minnesota, where I attended St. Mary's Catholic Church and parochial school. After high school I enrolled in St. John's University in Collegeville, Minnesota, with plans of going into wildlife research. But, I left college to work as a horse trainer and trail guide on a guest in ranch in Loveland, Colorado. After several years jumping from job to job I moved to Cheyenne Wyoming, where I managed a pet store and sold men's clothing. My life was fairly settled; I had a good job, I dated occasionally, and on the outside I appeared happy. But, I felt alone, and I was depressed.

While I was in Cheyenne my parents had become "Born Again" Christians. Learning of my depression they flew to Cheyenne and shared their newfound knowledge of Jesus with me. Shortly after they left I found myself in a Catholic church for the first time in years, and I knew I had found what I was looking for, a relationship with God.

I began to attend church regularly, and a few months later I was invited to attend a "Charismatic" prayer meeting by one of the nuns from the Catholic church. Within weeks I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I received "the Baptism of the Holy Spirit" and I became a "Born Again" Christian.

For the next several years I was on fire for the Lord, and I became the leader of the prayer group in Cheyenne. When I moved back to Willmar, I became the leader of a prayer group at the local Junior College. In 1977, I moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota to manage a pet store. I was also trying to start a new business as a pet wholesaler, and working as a musician. Then my girlfriend broke off our relationship. I became depressed and attempted suicide by placing the barrel of a 12 gauge shotgun under my chin and pulling the trigger.

I don't remember much about the incident, except putting my hands to my face, feeling that it was sticky (with my own blood) feeling something sharp (the shattered bone of my left jaw), and realizing that I couldn't see or speak. I reached for the phone and dialed the operator, but because I couldn't speak, I couldn't tell her what was wrong or where I was. I thank Yahweh that she realized something was very wrong.

Because I couldn't speak the operator tried to trace the phone call. When she couldn't trace it she tried to find out where I was by asking me questions and having me tap on the phone receiver; once for "yes" and twice for "no".

Meanwhile, my sister Debbie had been trying to reach me on the phone, but she kept getting a busy signal. Because she was worried she called the operator and asked them to cut in on the phone line. The operator told her she couldn't cut in because it was an emergency situation, and they were trying to trace the call. Debbie explained who she was, and promptly gave the operator my address.

The next thing I remember was the sound of the ambulance coming down the street and the operator telling me that help was on the way. By this time I had been lying on the floor, bleeding to death, for twenty minutes.

When the paramedic finally reached me, he picked up the phone and I remember him telling the operator, "We're here. It's bad, I don't think he's going to make it." When I heard those words I gave up, and thought to myself, "Well God, here I come. I haven't been real good, but I haven't done anything real bad either. I hope I make it to heaven."

I don't remember the ride to the hospital in the ambulance, or the paramedics trying to get me to lay down on the stretcher, so they could put a tracheotomy tube into my throat to help me breathe (because I was drowning in my own blood). I don't even remember the emergency room doctor asking me if I wanted him to help me. I was in such bad shape that the doctors didn't know if I would live.

Two months later, as I stood in front of the mirror in my hospital room, I saw my face for the first time after shooting myself. What I saw was a swollen, mutilated, grotesque face, with a plastic brace screwed onto the outside of my shattered jaw to hold it together. At first I felt like I was in a bad dream, and that everything would be all right when I woke up. When I realized that what I saw was real, I tried to jump out the window of my hospital room. Thank Yahweh it was locked.

In the following months I had several surgeries to repair the damage I had done to myself. Some of the surgeries were so difficult that I was given the Last Rites. At one point I had seven major surgeries in thirty-five days, one of those surgeries lasted 14 hours. When I awoke from the last of those surgeries I had new incisions on my face, both of my legs, my chest, my left side, my left arm, and my left wrist.

While I was in the hospital my parents had flown back from Guam, where they lived. They, along with my sisters, prayed that I would live. They witnessed to me about God's mercy, and told me that they were sure that Yahweh had a plan for me. In spite of several failed surgeries, I somehow kept my faith in God.

Over the next ten years I had major surgery every six months. Muscle was taken from my upper arm, my side and my chest to repair my face and the roof of my mouth, which was no longer there; blood vessels were taken from both my feet, and the top of my head to provide blood for the muscle transplants to the roof of my mouth. Bone was taken from both my hips, the left side of my pelvis, and a rib from my right side to repair my upper and lower jaw; skin was taken from my upper thighs six different times to transplant to my mouth and sinuses. I barely recovered from one surgery before I went in for another one. After I had my twenty-first surgery I decided not to have any more. Even though the doctors told me they could do more, I had had enough.

While I was still having reconstructive surgery I met my wife Diane, and we were married in 1984. I adopted her daughter Melissa two years later. We then had a son, Dallas, and another daughter, Tawnya. In an effort to regain some semblance of a normal life I attended the Wilderness Guides and Packers School in Jackson, Wyoming, where I received my diploma as a certified hunting guide. Two years later I formed T.R. Michels Guide Service; booking hunts for several guides and outfitters in North America. I also guided for elk in New Mexico, and for goose, deer and turkey in Minnesota. For the next few years I was busy throughout the year booking hunts, guiding, and giving seminars at sport shows. Then, because I was away from home for much of the year, Diane left me.

During the first years of our marriage the family had attended church regularly. But, we had not been attending prayer meetings. After Diane left I felt the need for Christian fellowship, support and prayer, and I began attending a Catholic Charismatic prayer meeting in North Saint Paul, Minnesota. Within six months Diane returned home and our family began to regularly attend prayer meetings, with a renewed faith in the Lord.

One night, while we were at the prayer my son Dallas and my Daughter Tawnya accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior; Dallas was eight years old, Tawnya was six. My oldest daughter Melissa gave her life to Christ later that same year; she was thirteen.

By the grace of Yahweh I began writing my column Maximum Effort Hunting System, which was published in several Midwest publications, in 1987. I began giving seminars at sport shows throughout the Midwest in 1988. I designed Konifer camouflage for the Cabela's catalog in 1989, and Field "Stalker" for the Herter's catalog in 1992. I wrote my first two books Goose Addict's Manual and Elk Addict's Manual during that time. In 1997 I began writing for the National Rifle Association's American Hunter magazine.

Since that time I have written for the National Wild Turkey Federation's Turkey Call, Petersen's Bowhunting, Buckmasters, Bow and Arrow Hunting, North American Whitetail, Fur-Fish-Game, Midwest Outdoors, Big River Outdoors, Midwest Bowhunter and several other regional and state publications. I wrote the "Deer Management and Nutrition & Deer Research" column in the Rub-lines magazine, and the "Deer Biology and Behavior" column in the Whitetail Fanatic magazine. I have also written articles for the Christian Bowhunters of America Speaking Out magazine, and the Christian Deer Hunters Association newsletter. I also author most of the articles in Trinity Mountain Outdoors magazine and the T.R.'s Tips talk forum on my web site.

In 1999, Melissa became engaged to Greg Boehmer, who she had been dating since she was 13 years old. Later that year a local evangelist, Lowell Lundstrom, invited me to speak at the 2000 Wild Game Dinner at Celebration Church in Lakeville, Minnesota. Greg accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior at the dinner that night. Then, the night before Palm Sunday of 2001, five weeks before he married Melissa, Greg was baptized and confirmed, and he celebrated his first communion in the Catholic Church. I am proud to say that I now have another "Born Again" son.

I thank Jesus for dying on the cross for me, for coming into my life, for saving my life, for returning my speech and sight, for saving my marriage, and especially for saving my soul.

Jesus is my God, my Lord and my Savior,

T.R.


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## duckp (Mar 13, 2008)

TR,
Great,thanks but enough.How many sites and times need you do this?Is there a purpose for anyone other than you?


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## dc240nt (Sep 20, 2006)

Very tragic TR..., but I have to agree with Duck and say enough is enough. And yes, just how many sites? You've flooded nearly every hunting site I've visited in the last five years. I don't know, maybe your books arnt selling and you feel you need to post your "discoveries" here. Not trying to be real rude but my gosh man..., GIVE IT A REST ALREADY!!

Theres a saying around web sites, instead of them being spammed, they've been "TR'd".


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## TRMichels (Apr 2, 2008)

There is a very easy cure for your problem, if you don't like what I write- don't open the thread.

May God bless you and your families,

T.R.


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## Leo Porcello (Jul 10, 2003)

TRMichels said:


> There is a very easy cure for your problem, if you don't like what I write- don't open the thread.
> 
> May God bless you and your families,
> 
> T.R.


EXACTLY!!! You know some guys do have a life and don't visit every site like you others so its nice that TR is posting here for those that choose to read his writings.

Boy I bet if he was telling you two where the ducks and geese were in ND you would have no beef!


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## duckp (Mar 13, 2008)

Leo,
Still would have a beef cause he would have told us 28 times on 20 different sites already.For years.I see he was busy posting it all over yesterday.
Ask yourself why?Or don't-i could care less.


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## djleye (Nov 14, 2002)

Like the man said, you don't wanna read 'em, don't open 'em. Simple directions!!!


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

This is the first I have seen that. I don't spend time on any other sites. No hunting sites, no other sites. This is it. I hope you inspired some other depressed person not to give up TR. God bless.


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## MSG Rude (Oct 6, 2003)

If I don't want to read Ladies Home Journal, I don't open it. No big deal.


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## duckp (Mar 13, 2008)

DJ,
Sorry but I'll post whenever/whatever i like til someone in authority(not you)says otherwise.
You don't have to read my opinions either. :lol: 
As to getting a 'life'cause I visit other sites,ask TR about that or maybe look at post counts.4000 plus?7,000 plus?
Who needs a 'life'?


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

duckp said:


> DJ,
> Sorry but I'll post whenever/whatever i like til someone in authority(not you)says otherwise.
> You don't have to read my opinions either. :lol:
> As to getting a 'life'cause I visit other sites,ask TR about that or maybe look at post counts.4000 plus?7,000 plus?
> Who needs a 'life'?


duckp, PM in progress please check.


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## Leo Porcello (Jul 10, 2003)

duckp said:


> DJ,
> Sorry but I'll post whenever/whatever i like til someone in authority(not you)says otherwise.


Funny you tell TR not to post but when someone tells you the same you don't like it. Typical...


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## duckp (Mar 13, 2008)

Leo,
Was hoping you'd see a difference.Thats 7,652.Fabulous.
ActuallyI'll please you and quit hyping this.


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## Leo Porcello (Jul 10, 2003)

7,653 since 2003. Find me on the other forums and I bet in might be low 100s. Become a member here and go to the BP and you will see that a lot of my posts are numbers and FPP. 8)

Actually it would please me more if you kept typing.


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## MSG Rude (Oct 6, 2003)

Enough. See the PM's I just sent. Stick to the topic thread.

MSG Rude


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## barebackjack (Sep 5, 2006)

MSG Rude said:


> If I don't want to read Ladies Home Journal, I don't open it. No big deal.


I thought you liked Ladies Home Journal?


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## USAlx50 (Nov 30, 2004)

Oh he opens it alright.


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## hunt4P&amp;Y (Sep 23, 2004)

There is other hunting websites????


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## USSapper (Sep 26, 2005)

Thanks for the article TR


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## mnbirdhunter (Sep 15, 2005)

This is the first I have seen this. Thanks for posting.


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## blhunter3 (May 5, 2007)

hunt4P&Y said:


> There is other hunting websites????


Yeah, www.blhunter3isawesome.com

:roll: :roll: :roll:


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## BeekBuster (Jul 22, 2007)

Seems appropriate to me... Some people dont have time to read every hunting site... Nice post TR


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## hunt4P&amp;Y (Sep 23, 2004)

blhunter3 said:


> hunt4P&Y said:
> 
> 
> > There is other hunting websites????
> ...


That link didn't work! I was all excited to hear your plethera of knowledge! ... uke:


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## blhunter3 (May 5, 2007)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Just pm me...


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## MSG Rude (Oct 6, 2003)

hunt4P&Y said:


> blhunter3 said:
> 
> 
> > hunt4P&Y said:
> ...


Good Lord Mike...make it to the "p's" already in the dictionary or did you read that on a bathroom wall and apply it here?


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## dogdonthunt (Nov 10, 2005)

> I thank Jesus for dying on the cross for me, for coming into my life, for saving my life, for returning my speech and sight, for saving my marriage, and especially for saving my soul.


the best gift we were given was life.... to be blunt here why would you or anyone ever think about destoying that..... these are my thoughts.... take em or leave em.... you might be a great guy TR but unfortunately I absolutley can not feel for someone who wants to "take the easy way out" and you tried it twice.... look back now and see what you would or "they" would be missing out on..... yes Im blunt but thats how I feel.... theres more but I think Ill respect the thread and keep those to myself....


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

dogdonthunt said:


> > I thank Jesus for dying on the cross for me, for coming into my life, for saving my life, for returning my speech and sight, for saving my marriage, and especially for saving my soul.
> 
> 
> the best gift we were given was life.... to be blunt here why would you or anyone ever think about destoying that..... these are my thoughts.... take em or leave em.... you might be a great guy TR but unfortunately I absolutley can not feel for someone who wants to "take the easy way out" and you tried it twice.... look back now and see what you would or "they" would be missing out on..... yes Im blunt but thats how I feel.... theres more but I think Ill respect the thread and keep those to myself....


I agree the best gift is life, but walk a mile in a man's shoes before you judge him. There are sometimes brain chemistry's any many things that change under severe depression. Have a heart. 
I am not judging you, but I will say there is a fine line sometimes between blunt and rude. Error on the kind side whenever possible. Unless of course someone has earned your ire.


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## dogdonthunt (Nov 10, 2005)

sorry plainsman I wont take it back.... these are my feelings and Im not judgeing him as a person... I did say hes proly a great guy but this simple act for one has reprecusions (sp) on everyone else involved.... again my thoughts.. rude? maybe.... straight forward... yes.... again ... take it or leave it...


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## buckseye (Dec 8, 2003)

WOW that's a hell of a journey TR. I have lost three friends from suicide and from that I learned that something must go dreadfully wrong within the mind for that to happen. I hope that doesn't offend you.

I am a man who has no doubt in my Lord Jesus Christ, God and all the Saints. I have learned the Bible if ran like a computer program at the end would spell out Happiness. There is no greater glory to God we can offer than our own happiness, nothing makes a Father feel more rewarded than his own children's happiness. Go with God. Peace


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

Guides.... suicide :beer:

:lol: :lol: just kidding maybe just a shot in the foot would be enough!


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## Plainsman (Jul 30, 2003)

Oh, no g/o is going to see this and blow a hemroid.


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## Bobm (Aug 26, 2003)

Ok your right.... I take that back and I like G/O, how about just a sprained ankle and a hangover :lol: :lol:


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## MSG Rude (Oct 6, 2003)

buckseye said:


> I am a man who has no doubt in my Lord Jesus Christ, God and all the Saints. I have learned the Bible if ran like a computer program at the end would spell out Happiness. There is no greater glory to God we can offer than our own happiness, nothing makes a Father feel more rewarded than his own children's happiness. Go with God. Peace


Now that sounded like a good Catholic right there!

The Bible even states that when a person returns to God that even the Angles weep with happiness and envy. Angles are made and do not have a choice of faith.

A child returning to the Father is the greatest happiness of His.


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## Methuselah (Sep 5, 2008)

Awesome testimony TR! Regardless of what some may say, I am very glad you posted this. Who knows, God may use it some day to help someone that is struggling. God Bless you and your family.


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## Large munsterlander1 (Feb 11, 2008)

Thanks for sharing that was very enlighting!


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## deked (Mar 11, 2003)

Whoa, I can't believe I just read all the way through that BS! Sad story pal... :roll: How about next time you just step up and be a man about things? People have alot worse things happen to them besides a girlfriend breaking up with them because they are a pet wholesaler...


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## Hamm (Dec 10, 2007)

deked said:


> Whoa, I can't believe I just read all the way through that BS! Sad story pal... :roll: How about next time you just step up and be a man about things? People have alot worse things happen to them besides a girlfriend breaking up with them because they are a pet wholesaler...


 :roll: :roll: :roll:


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## huntinND (May 1, 2008)

Man, I can't believe how big of pricks you guys can be because he decided to share a story about his life. Is that why people use this site is to look for ways to be a d!ck. 
Everyone has hard times in there life and handle them very differently, suicide seems unimaginable to most of us but there are people that need help. People do crazy things when under extreme depression, they don't choose to be this way. Try to be more respectful of other peoples issues, you may be able to help somebody some day.


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## buckseye (Dec 8, 2003)

I know what you mean HND... can you imagine what turmoil some will suffer to learn compassion. Obviously these people who show no compassion about this have never lost anything they value yet. I wish them continued good luck! :beer:


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## Robert A. Langager (Feb 22, 2002)

Spiraling out of control right into the realm of ............

LOCKED.

huntinND,

Find a way to express yourself without having to call people names.


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