# humor for the day



## BBD25 (Nov 28, 2007)

Words fail me.

I think I'll just go pick some chips off the Doritos tree in the backyard, to go with the stiff drink that I need right now.

They walk among us... And they VOTE!!


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## blhunter3 (May 5, 2007)

On a serious note, scientists are actually trying to clone meat so that no animals will be killed in order to get the meat. :eyeroll: uke:


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## Chuck Smith (Feb 22, 2005)

The sad thing is they did vote....

Blhunter....on the cloning of meat....that is scary because what kind of harm do you think that meat will do to your body. ie cancers, heart troubles, etc.


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## Maverick (Mar 4, 2002)

If they could clone the ribeye I ate last night....I wouldn't mind it! :lol:


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## blhunter3 (May 5, 2007)

Chuck Smith said:


> The sad thing is they did vote....
> 
> Blhunter....on the cloning of meat....that is scary because what kind of harm do you think that meat will do to your body. ie cancers, heart troubles, etc.


But having cancer and heart troubles is better then butchering that poor animal. uke:


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## BBD25 (Nov 28, 2007)

MY POINT EXACTLY!>> An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly> check-up...>>>> The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old> said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better.'>> I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.>> 'So what do you think about that Doc?'>>> The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began> to tell a story.>> 'I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter> and never misses a season.'>>> One day he was setting off to go hunting.> In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane> instead of his gun.'> 'As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver> sitting at the water's edge.>>> He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot> the magnificent creature.>> Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if> it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.'> 'Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over> dead..>> Now, what do you think of that?' asked the doctor.>> The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that> somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'>>

The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'


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## jackal_727 (Jul 12, 2007)

BBD25 said:


> MY POINT EXACTLY!>> An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly> check-up...>>>> The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old> said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better.'>> I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.>> 'So what do you think about that Doc?'>>> The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began> to tell a story.>> 'I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter> and never misses a season.'>>> One day he was setting off to go hunting.> In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane> instead of his gun.'> 'As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver> sitting at the water's edge.>>> He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot> the magnificent creature.>> Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if> it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.'> 'Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over> dead..>> Now, what do you think of that?' asked the doctor.>> The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that> somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'>>
> 
> The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'


That is quite possibly my new favorite


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## BBD25 (Nov 28, 2007)

EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

A young guy from Minnesota moves to 
Florida and goes to a big everything-under-one-roof department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?'

The kid says 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in 
Minnesota .'

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You start
tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did.'

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down. 'How 
many customers bought something from you today?'

The kid says, 'One.'

The boss says, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30
customers a day. How much was the sale for?' 
The kid says, '$101,237.65.'

The boss says, '$101,237.65? What the heck did you 
sell?'

The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold
him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I
took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.'

The boss said 'A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?'

The kid said 'No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his 
wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'


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## BBD25 (Nov 28, 2007)

HER DIARY:

Tonight: I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY:

Missed a 3 foot putt today, but at least I got laid


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## BrightBeaver (Jan 8, 2010)

haha was that in the public announcements section?


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## sophie01 (Jan 30, 2010)

Hahaha...This is quite funny. I remember a few myself like this one. Will Post them very soon for everyone.
I just love this kind of humor.
===========================
[link=caravans]http://www.caravanmarket.com.au[/link]


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## Nodak_Norsk (Aug 5, 2007)

hahahaha!!!! Forwarding these jokes to all the man folk on my email list ^_^ And I don't usually forward joke stuff on, lol, these were good!


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